#5 – Get Inspired!

Variations:

• Pump yourself up.
• Give yourself pep talks.
• Attend motivational events.

Why this is a fail:

• It only lasts a short while.
• It encourages a boom-or-bust mentality. When you feel low, you think you’ve failed.
• It can trap you in an addictive cycle. You think one more motivational seminar will give you a permanent lift. (Hint: It won’t.)

You can view the entire Self-Help Fails series here: https://stephendiamond.me/category/self-help-fails/.

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Next up in the Self-Help Fails series:

#4 – Boost Your Confidence

Variations:

• High self-esteem is essential for success.
• Optimism is the one quality more associated with success and happiness than any other. (Brian Tracy, motivational speaker)

Why this is a fail:

• Overconfidence can lead to poor decisions.
• Too much optimism can makes you reckless.
• You may double down on a bad choice and make things even worse.
• You may waste time on an impossible dream.
• You may lose people’s trust because you can’t follow through with something you said you could do.

You can view the entire Self-Help Fails series here: https://stephendiamond.me/category/self-help-fails/.

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#3 – Work Hard and You Will Succeed

Variations:

• Work and you’ll get what you need; work harder and you’ll get what you want. (Prabakaran Thirumalai, medical entrepreneur)
• Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get. (Ray Kroc, former McDonald’s CEO)

Why this is a fail:

• Successful people are the only ones who ever say this. They ignore the myriads of hard workers who struggle. What about single parents working three jobs to feed and clothe their families? How many of them get a lucky break? The truth of success is that hard work is often necessary but rarely sufficient.

Dozens of successful people say things like this. I’ve only scratched the surface with these quotes. They should know better. I find it shocking, the disrespect they’re expressing for all the many thousands of hard-working people who haven’t had their advantages.

On the other hand, many successful people acknowledge that hard work doesn’t guarantee success. They manage to emphasize its importance without sneering at those who are less fortunate. Here are some examples:

• People might not get all they work for in this world, but they must certainly work for all they get. (Frederick Douglass, abolitionist writer, orator, statesman)
• For every two minutes of glamour, there are eight hours of hard work. (Jessica Savitch, television news presenter)
• It takes a lot of unspectacular preparation to have spectacular results in both business and football. (Roger Staubach, former NFL quarterback)
• My success was due to good luck, hard work, and support and advice from friends and mentors. But most importantly, it depended on me to keep trying after I had failed. (Mark Warner, US Senator)

You can view the entire Self-Help Fails series here: https://stephendiamond.me/category/self-help-fails/.

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This is the second in my series on Self-Help Fails. You can view the entire series here: https://stephendiamond.me/category/self-help-fails/.

• Never give up.
• Winners never quit and quitters never win.
• Success comes from persistence.

We’ve all seen these. Similar statements abound in self-help books. Is it good advice?

No. More people have ruined their lives by refusing to quit when they were failing than have succeeded by persisting in the face of failure after failure. We hear the inspirational stories of the few who make it. The other stories are rarely heard.

Wisdom is knowing when to stop attempting the impossible. If you’re training to be a concert pianist and discover you have no talent, you should switch paths sooner, not later. Aim high, sure. But if you find out you’re not making it, change targets before repeated failures push you into bankruptcy and divorce.

This is very different from saying don’t do something you love simply for its own sake. If you love playing the piano and recognize you don’t have what it takes for a concert career, then of course you should keep playing for your own enjoyment and for others. Often, the self-help gurus who say “never give up” fail to make this distinction.

The post Self-Help Fails #2 – Never Give Up first appeared on Stephen Diamond.

There’s one common factor in all this bad advice: It creates or intensifies an inner conflict. It puts people at war with themselves. It encourages people to approach themselves with violence instead of love.

This is fail number one, Magical Thinking.

Examples:

• The Secret
• Law of Attraction
• Think and Grow Rich
• As a Man Thinketh
• The Power of Positive Thinking

Why is this a fail?

• It doesn’t work!
• Waste of energy
• Source of frustration
• Makes your mind a battleground

Click for the rest of the self-help fails series.

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